Lyrics

If I told you that the earth was flat,
If I said the sky was green,
If I mentioned I was scared of cats
Because they were so mean,
Would you look at me and smile
And pat me on the head
And say, "You silly boy,
You've had enough, now come to bed"?

If I told you that your soulful eyes
Can cause my heart to speed,
If I said that your bright girlish smile
Can make my legs weak-kneed,
Would you look at me and grin
And kiss me on the cheek
And say, "You sly old boy,
I've heard enough to last a week"?

Whom would you believe?
Me, myself, or I?
The ones who talk of fantasies
Or the one who never lies?

If I told you that the President
Had asked me out to dine
If I said that I was hesitant
And regretfully declined
Would you look at me and sigh
And shake your head with doubt
And say, "You addled man,
You don't know what you gab about"?

Whom would you believe?
Me, myself, or I?
The ones who talk of fantasies
Or the one who never lies?

You think I'm confused
But here's what is real
It's not all this make-believe
It's your sex appeal
My daydreams are just
Pursuits of great mirth
But you are my ballast, dear,
And hold me down to earth.

If I told you that your glistening lips
Invite love’s rendezvous,
If I said that when I kiss your mouth
My fantasy is you,
Would you look at me and beam
And pull me to your chest
And say, "You're my old boy,
But let's give your vagaries a rest"?

Yet whom would you believe?
Me, myself, or I?
The ones who talk of reveries
Or the one who --
The one who lies by your side?